Friday, February 5, 2016

Gottman's "Creating Stronger Relationships" Workshop

For those hoping to enhance their marriages….

If you could learn DIRECTLY from the very elite Marriage and Family therapists, who train therapists worldwide, how valuable would it be? 

Would you be there?

If your answer is "HECK YES!", I've got great news for you!

On March 10-12th, there is going to be a 2 1/2 day Couples’ Workshop in Sandy, Utah presented by 

Drs. John and Julie Gottman! 

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While it IS a "Continuing Education" workshop, and licensed therapists will be the main attendees, I have just been given the news that they are allowing us common folk to attend-- giving YOU the opportunity to learn right along with professionals how to improve your marriage.

Dr. Gottman was one of the Top 10 Most Influential Therapists of the past quarter-century by the Psychotherapy Networker.  He is the author of 190 published academic articles and author or co-author of 40 books, including the bestselling The Seven Principles for Making Marriage WorkWhat Makes Love LastThe Relationship CureWhy Marriages Succeed or Fail; and Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child, among many others. Dr. Gottman’s media appearances include Good Morning America, Today, CBS Morning News, and Oprah, as well articles in The New York Times, Ladies Home Journal, Redbook, Glamour, Woman’s Day, People, Self, Reader’s Digest, and Psychology Today.

Co-founder of the Gottman Institute with his wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, John was also the Executive Director of the Relationship Research Institute. He is Professor Emeritus of Psychology at the University of Washington, where he founded ” The Love Lab” at which much of his research on couples’ interactions was conducted. To read more about Dr Gottman’s Research, check out the ‘Research’ section of our website for interesting questions and citations to his work.

I'm super excited to say that I have been given an AWESOME deal to offer my family and friends! If you're interesed in learning from the BEST of the BEST:

Enter the coupon code JACY when registering to Gottman's “Creating Stronger Relationships” and you'll get 15% OFF!

How awesome is that?

It's really an incredible opportunity and I HOPE YOU CAN BE THERE!

All details about the event can be found here:

Monday, February 1, 2016


One of the most memorable moments I've experienced at a Togetherness Project conference was when Josie Thompson from The 444 Project spoke about living with severe depression and how she finds the strength and courage to live as joyfully as possible, despite a very real and dark struggle. 

In her closing thoughts she said, 

"I love that the theme is *I can do hard things!* But let me remind you of this important fact: 

You ARE doing hard things. WE. DO. HARD. THINGS!" 

At that moment, there weren't very many dry eyes in the room, if any. 



So, while what this quote above ^^^ says is totally true, I'm going to put a little bit of "Josie" in on it and say 

"Beautiful girl, YOU DO HARD THINGS!" 

FYI: I'll be taking orders on the perfect, dainty, empowering "I can" necklace (pictured above) through tomorrow 2/2/16 by midnight MST. It's a perfect reminder for you, or any woman going through something challenging (heck, or just living life for that matter), that you can and ARE doing it! 

All profits go to Togetherness Project. 

Order yours here:


Friday, January 22, 2016

Blue Eyes and a Prayer

The day we brought Julian home from the hospital, we all oooooed and awwwwed over this new, miraculous, tiny life. We commented on his skin tone and who he resembled. Later that night, after sending Little Dude (7) to brush his teeth, I found a hand written note outside my bedroom door. There was a broken heart drawn in two pieces and it said, "Baby Julian looks like everyone in our house but me." 

My heart broke in half, just as he explained his already had. I walked to his room as quickly as I could and there he was, under his covers, with tears in his eyes. He told me how sad he was that he and Julian looked nothing alike and that no one would believe it was his brother because they have different dads. I held back the tears and we had a nice long talk about genetics, how babies change quickly and how no matter what, everyone would always know he was Julian's big brother! 

I remember praying that night for some sort of little miracle... Something... Anything to make it easier for Little Dude.... Something that would help us transition to a new family of four... Something that would tie them together that Little Dude could actually *see*. I had no idea what it would/could be... But I prayed. 

I told Seth through tears that night that there is nothing more challenging than seeing your child hurt and sad for reasons that neither you, nor they, can control.

Fast forward to about 8 months later... Little Dude said while looking into Julian's eyes, 

"Mom! His eyes are BLUE! Which is weird, because yours are brown and Dad Seth's are brown... So... Who did he get his blue eyes from?" 

I tried so hard to hold back the tears but they pooled in my eyelids. 

"YOU!" I said. "They must've come from YOU!" 

His eyes lit up. His jaw dropped. 

"Me? Really? He got MY eyes?" 

"I think so!" 

In that instant, Little Dude picked Julian up and swung him around in excitement. It meant so much to him! It was their thing. The "special thing that he could *see*"... The thing I had been praying for months and months earlier. 

Words cannot express how much this means. An answer to a prayer, a tender mercy, a little miracle, maybe even chance... whatever you call it, I'm beyond grateful because even if Julian's eyes don't stay blue forever, these two shared blue eyes together for some time and that just meant the whole world to this big brother!

Thursday, January 21, 2016

The Struggle is Real

The struggle is REAL. 

It is absolutely real and I'm realizing more and more that I've got to STOP comparing myself to others. 

It's a dangerous habit... it's poisonous.... and it can kill. 

When I'm constantly comparing what I don't have, where I'm not going, what I'm not accomplishing, all the things I'm not, the only thing left for me to do is criticize myself. Then that negative, toxic energy (that I have created all by myself) oozes from my pores, making it absolutely impossible to love myself. 

One of the things that has really helped me is if a certain FB feed, blog, Instagram acct, magazine, or T.V. show leaves me feeling inadequate and/or like I'm not enough, I can simply "unfollow" or change the channel or set the magazine down. This makes room for me to focus on what I DO HAVE,  and WHO I ALREADY AM.

 For some reason it can be really HARD to do this…. but being able to let go (without guilt and shame) of the things/people/feeds that don't aide in my growth and happiness is helping me in enormous ways!

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

What it Means to be Courageous

I'm so excited to finally be able to share this powerful video with you about what it means to be courageous. It has been part of a few of my different presentations at Togetherness, as well as at the AZ Family Council conference, and it gets me every time! I find myself feeling empowered and invincible every single time I see it. Please take a moment to watch it and remember that,

Wherever you are in your life right now, whatever trials you face, whatever race you happen to be running...

"Winning is no more than this: 


Video Credit: 3Gaps

Tuesday, January 12, 2016


You guys!

This book….

…. is SO good!

I read it, I was inspired by it, I immediately implemented the simple and effective concepts shared within and I have very honestly noticed a wonderful change in my life ever since! So much so, that I also share some of the helpful ideas with my life-coaching clients, too.

Hyrum Smith's principles are continually helping me get from where I am, to WHERE I WANT TO BE!

From who I am, to WHO I WANT TO BE!

And in all aspects of my life: my work with The Togetherness Project and as a Life Coach, but also as a wife, a mother, and a human being.

It's seriously good stuff… and it's SIMPLE. Isn't it interesting, though, how the simple stuff is often the hardest to stick to? How the simple stuff takes the most work? Yeah, that's what this is. Simple, but awesomely rewarding when you create that life-style change.

Well, I'm super excited to announce that I have teamed up with 3 Gaps to do a
BOOK GIVEAWAY for the first 100 people who email in! And a bonus... they will even ship it right to your house, free of charge!

What's the catch?
We ask that you write a review about the book on Amazon. What you liked about it, how it helped change your perspective, what tools resonated with you most. It can be one sentence, or five paragraphs ;) We just ask that if you LEARNED from the book, that you write a positive review telling people why and how!

Can you do that for me? :) GREAT!

Here's what you need to do:

1) Email

2) Put "JACY BOOK GIVEAWAY" in the subject line

3) Copy and Paste this into the email: "I'm requesting The 3 Gaps book and agree to place a timely review on Amazon"

4) Provide your first and last name and your mailing address (**Giveaway only available to 48 lower United States and ONE book per household, please)

5) Read The 3 Gaps as soon as it is received and provide a review within 48 hours on Amazon HERE.

BONUS assignment that will help propel you forward :) As Hyrum asks each reader to do in the book: 
  1. Write down the things that connected with you
  2. Think about those thing for 36 hours
  3. Teach those things to somebody else within 48 hours after that


**If for some reason you don't read this in time to be one of the first 100 who email in, you can always purchase it on Amazon HERE and know that it will be a great investment :)

Friday, January 8, 2016


(Part 2 of my Divorced and Happy presentation I did at Togetherness Project conferences last year. Part 1 HERE)

This is some of the best advice I have ever heard (and I believe it actually applies to every woman, whether you're going through a divorce or not):

  • You are ALLOWED to say "no".
  • You are ALLOWED to protect yourself.
  • You are ALLOWED to put yourself first.

Divorce can get weird divorce can get ugly and sometimes, divorce can even get scary.

Why is that?

Because divorce can bring out the nasty and absolute worst in people. I mean, even the most amicable divorces I hear about usually always have some heat because. well, think about it… whether you're working first hand with your (soon to be ex) spouse to sort it all out, or you've hired lawyers to help sort it all out, or you've found yourself in court, in front of a judge who is sorting it all out for you. it's always for and/or about REALLY IMPORTANT THINGS: time/custody with the kids, medical issues, educational plans, childcare, the home you've built together, businesses, investments, finances, holidays-- basically everything that matters.

While it can be very easy to focus in on how nasty and horrible you think your ex (or soon-to-be-ex) is being, it is VERY important to recognize that divorce can also bring out the nasty and absolute very worst in YOU, too. 


So... what do you do when you feel you're turning into the very thing you're complaining about?

You learn how to be BOLD while MAINTAINING YOUR DIGNITY through the process. 

This quote, to me, is what it means to be dignified through TOUGH situations:

Be soft.

Do not let the world make you hard.

Do not let pain make you hate.

Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.

This doesn't mean you are a puddle. This doesn't mean you are a doormat. This doesn't mean you allow yourself to be taken advantage of, bullied, used and abused. 

It means that it's okay to get tough when you HAVE to get tough. In fact, it's more than okay…. it's NECESSARY! And while I don't ever want to encourage anyone to go around creating drama and/or picking unnecessary fights and/or being a bully (and I obviously NEVER encourage physical violence, EVER!), the point I want to make is that, there will most likely be times before, during and possibly after your divorce that you will be forced to get tough. In those uncomfortable and scary and weird times, remember that:

  • You are ALLOWED to say "no".
  • You are ALLOWED to protect yourself.
  • You are ALLOWED to put yourself first. 

This is when you've gotta put on your gloves, build up your courage, play by the rules of the ring, and BE BOLD WITH DIGNITY!

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