We all have those days... the days when we feel...
Under-validated, overlooked, misunderstood.
Maybe not good enough?
Just kind of "bleh".
I know you've had these sort of days.
Whether we feel this way about our success in the workplace, how advanced we are in school, what our family dynamic may be, how we compare as mothers and wives, where we fit-in in our communities, with our neighbors and friends, how confident we are in regards to our self esteem, where our marital situations lie, etc, these feelings are something each and every one of us experience.
I don't really enjoy these moments, days, or streaks of time, but I'm learning how to feel them, understand why I'm feeling the way I am, and then proactively move forward so that I can conquer them and live my life as positively as possible.
Well the last few days I been feeling as mentioned above.
There's no one particular thing that is weighing on me, rather a culmination of experiences/discussions/feelings that have left me feeling under validated, overlooked, and a little bit misunderstood. And add being a woman with hormones, as well as one who doesn't possess a very thick skin, no wonder I feel the way I do.
Anyway, yesterday I was out for a walk. The wind was blowing in my face and the bright pink Bougainvillea's were vividly lining my trail. It was gorgeous, but I couldn't see the or appreciate the view because I was so enthralled in the garbagey feelings.
Right as my mind was replaying these unideal experiences, the very real insecurities I felt and the ridiculous comparisons I was making, my phone buzzed. I let the call ring through because this was my time to just be. To disconnect. And so, I let iTunes play on.
Soon after, my phone buzzed again. The person who had called had left me a voicemail. I decided to give it a listen.
On the other end of the call was a familiar voice. A woman I met through this blog almost 2 years ago. A woman whom I haven't spoken to in 5 months at least. It was a friend; a friend who has walked a similar path as I, who can relate so well to my experiences.
She was calling out of the blue, for no other reason than to say:
"I love you. Thank you for everything you are working so hard for. I just felt that I needed to call you and tell you that today."
Oh! How I wish I could describe the depth in which these words impacted me... how much they meant... but even more than the words themselves, how much this call, this act of love, changed me.
Her simple and sweet words, that came at a time when I desperately needed them most, filled my heart in immeasurable ways. It should be of no surprise to all of you that I began to cry on my walk. My grumpiness, my insecurity, my feelings of being "bleh" and wallowing in my own self pitty vanished. I felt rejuvenated.
And then the Mumford and Sons song "Awake My Soul" came on.
"In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die
And where you invest your love, you invest your life"
I felt so much love in my heart for my friend. I felt a raging sort of love for life, and all those who are in it. I felt love for my surroundings. Suddenly, everything got a whole lot brighter... the colors of the Bougainvillea's... the smell of the honeysuckle... the warm crisp breeze on my face... everything felt so fresh, clean, and vibrant. And at the same time as all of these feelings, I also felt so very loved.
I am not overlooked, or under-validated, or misunderstood, or not good enough.
Will the whole world understand me? No. Will everything go my way all the time? No. Will there be times when I DO feel the things listed above? Yes. Because we all do. Will those feelings be painful at times? Yes. But within my life, within this precious gift I have been given, I will not let those things take hold of me and continually hurt me... because when I open my eyes and listen to those around me, outside of the inadequacy or whatever I'm feeling, I am surrounded by so much love and goodness-- that I know to be true.
What a lovely reminder yesterday was.
I believe that Heavenly Father has angels on this earth and yesterday, I heard from one very loud and very clear. The message that was spoken was meant for me. At that time. In that place. It gave me a surge of confidence and peace that I haven't felt in quite a while.
Today, as you are going about your daily routine... please watch and listen for the angels that surround you. They are all around. You'll be amazed at what you see and what you hear. But as you watch and listen, don't get too caught up in searching for what other's can be doing for you... because you might get lost and forget that you, too, can be an angel for someone else.
I believe that this is when the most miraculous of blessings take place.
Take time to be an angel for someone else today!
A call out of the blue, an email for no other reason than to check in and tell that person how much they mean to you, or maybe even a simple surprise on a doorstep with a hand written note.
We all have days that we need a little encouragement and extra love. I'd encourage YOU to be an angel for someone else today because you never know just how much it will mean.
All my love to you dear friends of mine. It is a privilege to be here, amongst all of you. You make my life better.
Have a marvelous weekend!