Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Brave Warrior Women and Channel 12 News

One of my dear friends titled me a "Brave Warrior Woman" on Facebook last night for being featured  on the news, discussing why I started The Togetherness Project and our upcoming event in Phoenix.

I couldn't help but get a smirk on my face when I read the words "Brave Warrior Woman". I'm not sure if I'm deserving of such a robust and honorable title but, wow!, I'll take it :)

But in all seriousness, people, going on the news is scary.

Like, terrifying.

I thought my nerves were going to paralyze me.

I wanted to back out.

I wanted to call the reporter and say "Thanks but no thanks! Sorry!"

I was ready to have an anxiety attack at any moment.

What if people don't like it?

What if they morph what I say into something that I didn't really say?

What if people say mean things?

What if I say something stupid?

What if I screw up?

The unknown of it all made me really, really, uncomfortable.

But at 10:00pm last night, I sat nervously on the couch, Seth by my side, and we waited for the quick story to air. I had sweaty taco armpits even before my clip came on. Eeeeeek. Me, my story, the project.... on the NEWS.

I was just flat out terrified.

Once the story came on, this weird feeling of peace came over me.

It turned out okay and life kept on moving. One minute of exposure and it was over.  Weird how the anxiety feelings went away as soon as it ended.

After the clip aired, people started posting the link on my Facebook page on commenting on a job well done. It was really thoughtful the things that were being said and it meant so much.

But as I processed it, I realized that I'm not necessarily "brave" per se.....  I'm just speaking truth. And maybe that's where the bravery comes in? But really, what I am, and what I am doing is just saying it like it is. This is what happened, love it or hate it, this is MY story.

Sometimes we don't want to talk about the truth and it is incredibly hard be open about the things that hurt us (especially something as taboo and uncomfortable as sex addiction/porn addiction, betrayal). You fear of being labeled, judged, laughed at, criticized, mocked, challenged, whatever it may be. It is scary to allow people, people you don't know, into your life, into your heart, into the things that matter most to you.

But you guys, regardless of all those risks, I cannot NOT speak the truth. I cannot NOT try and help others with my story because that's the only way my story and what happened seems to make any sense. You can't make sense of the unexplainable, and so I HAVE to give some sort of sense.... and my sense is trying to help, unite and empower others.

Too many lives are being traumatized, too many families are being jeopardized, both men and women are getting caught in the addiction trap, and it is undeniably happening in more homes and relationships than we could ever fathom. Let's start TALKING more about the HARD and LESS about the froo freaking froo.

Let's talk about what REALLY matters, and what is really happening with our walls down and our vulnerability and compassion in gear.

I cannot tell you how many women I hear from. How many people have reached out spilling their heartbreaking/difficult realities that no one in their world knows of. Many people have said

"I've never told this to anyone before you."

And it's not all just addiction/betrayal. People are hurting for a myriad of different reasons and the HARD proves HARD to talk about openly (or at all really).

But as I watched the short clip last night, I came to this conclusion:

I am who I am today, because of what happened in my life.

It wasn't ideal.

It wasn't pretty.


But, because of those hellish and life altering experiences, something as beautiful as The Togetherness Project and the most amazing aspect of healing in my life-- Sisterhood-- were born.

Out of something that made me feel as weak, worthless, and hopeless as humanly possible, I have found something of great value: The Truth Shall Set You Free.

Hiding never does anyone ANY good. And so, here is my truth.

When I help others, I heal. I want to help give other women what I have been given because it has changed my life.

It's about moving onward and upward. Not in fear, or treading backward.

So my brave warrior women, speak truth.

p.s. "Fairy Tale Man" is Seth's NEW title I think. How hilarious is THAT!? haha!

(You can buy the above picture HERE)


Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Feel Better Challenge (Week 6) and Some Live TV

Challengers! GOOD MORNING! Afternoon... whatever time it is in your neck of the woods :)

This post is getting up late because I was up at 5:30am so that I could be downtown Phoenix for a little segment on a morning talk show. YAY! I was terrified. Absolutely terrified. But, I think it went pretty good, considering :)

Here's a photo my friend snapped and sent to me from her living room :) Ack! It's always hard to see yourself, isn't it? But, there you have it :)

As for The Feel Better Challenge, holy cow! WE ARE ALMOST DONE! I am plugging away and I feel good. I am still tired.... not sure why.... but, I do love being active!


I wanted to share mine and Seth's favorite summer spinach shake recipe today. Yesterday we dusted off the ol' blender and whipped it up. It is AMAZING! I got it off Dr. Oz last year and we have been hooked ever since.

Makes 1 1/2 servings 
3 cups spinach 
2 cups ice 
1/2 banana 
2 tbsp of peanut butter 
1 scoop vanilla protein powder (we use Whey Cookies and Cream and it is delicious!) 
3/4 cup of unsweetened almond milk 

Add all ingredients to blender and blend on high speed, until completely mixed.
Pour shake into glass and enjoy!

Recipe courtesy of Drew Manning- original recipe found here

**Because it gets SO hot here, shakes have become our best friends.... what are your favorite recipes? Will you please share them with me? Having the same one over and over gets really old :)**

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Join Our FREE Togetherness Community!

Oh my gosh you guys!

The Togetherness Project isn't soley about conferences anymore (although, our conferences are ah-mazing!). We are now more than that.... We are uniting women EVERYWHERE and providing the best education, encouragement and community!

Committed individuals from the Togetherness team have paired up with the guys from a really cool online platform called LearnCast and have made something remarkable.

We're calling it:

The primary purpose of Our Togetherness Community is to provide unity and healing to women who suffer from Betrayal Trauma (typically from a pornography/sexual addiction and/or infidelity of a loved one). 

You can join our community. Yes, YOU. As long as you are female and have access to internet, you can join!

By joining our Community, here's what you'll receive:

  • Access to an online platform that provides weekly messages of education, healing and hope-- specifically focusing on healing from betrayal trauma.
  • A monthly lesson provided by a sexual addiction therapist (some will include text, audio and video).
  • The opportunity to join local guided Togetherness Chapters that meet once a month with other women in the area to discuss the lessons.


I tell you what! It is divinely inspired I think. After months or trial and preparations and a lot of things just falling together, we are ready to take the nation by storm and unite women EVERYWHERE!


You need to do TWO things:

1) Text the word "Togetherness" to the phone number 878787.

You will be sent a link. Follow the link, click on the locked content. From there, you'll be ask to either login or register to view the content. REGISTER by provding your information (don't worry it will stay within our organization). Once you've done this, you'll be able to re-login, see the archives, and you'll be notified of upcoming future lessons that happen every Monday.

2) Email us at and let us know if you're interested in being part of our local chapters. From there, we can give you specific details of our existing local chapter groups, how to start a group if there isn't one in your area, and other Togetherness details that are "special" :)

Our platform works BEST on a tablet or a smart phone but it can be accessed online, from a computer, as well. If you do not have a smart phone or tablet, you can also register online by following this link .

Many days, weeks and hard working months have gone into making this happen and we are so excited to finally launch it! We have the best of the best therapists/professionals helping us with this, we have many devoted women facilitating monthly meetings in their areas and we have brave and beautiful women donating their time to do what it takes to actually run the back end of this thing (which is A LOT of work!).

It's a beautiful, beautiful thing to watch it all fall into place.

Please share the love. 

Share this page. 

Share this FREE community with anyone and EVERYONE! 

You never know who may be silently suffering alone and no one needs to be alone.... there is a whole community of women out there! 

This is a WONDERFUL place to start. Even if you just want to lurk online through the archives of content, and not join the in-person groups quite yet, you are welcome to do so :)

I've said it before, and by golly I'll say it again.... this is just the beginning.

If you like this, if it means something to you, if you're already a community member, will you please share so here (if you're comfortable!). I want women to KNOW that they are not alone. That there are others searching for healing, hope and clarity too.

God is good. 

Words cannot express how rewarding this project is. It is marvelous to see what determination, compassion and love can build. 

Thanks to everyone who has made this possible and free for anyone to access! What a blessing that is :)



Sunday, April 13, 2014

Simple Things on a Sunday

I'd love to hear some of the reasons that make you happy... What are you living for today? What are you finding joy in today?


I am reveling in new friendships, new life as spring emerges, and new beginnings.

Wishing you all a peaceful and happy Sabbath!

p.s. you can buy the top picture, here. Cute, right!?

Thursday, April 10, 2014


The winner of the UNISEX gift is.....


The winner of the BOY gift is.....


The winner of the GIRL gift is.....


**Ladies, email me at within 24 hours of this posting and we will work out shipping details :)

Thanks for participating everyone and congratulations to the lucky people out there! They really are SO ADORABLE..... if I do say so myself :)

All my love to you today!

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Feel Better Challenge (Week 6) and a RECIPE



I love seeing your photo's on Instagram (#feelbetterchallenge). It has been SO fun to feel connected with some of you in this :)

I've been doing okay. Ha! I am getting my activity in, and I'm not drinking any soda, but I'm just lagging. Dead tired. I've been told it could be allergies weighing me down. Who knows? But, I'm still trying to be as active as I possibly can.

I'm not beating myself up too much... because the goal is to feel better, and not be crazy obsessive.


As promised, here is that delicious salad I was telling you about last week.

In November, Seth and I went to a Cancer Wellness Gala/Fundraiser in downtown Phoenix. We just so happened to go and support the cause on the very same day that Seth's sister Megan died of Leukemia 3 years prior (Seth was her bone marrow donor, to read the amazing story go here).

It was such an honor to be there, remembering her on that day, and being surrounded by so many amazing people who supported the cause. 

As part of the gala, we were able to eat some of the most delicious cancer fighting foods and one was a 
Red Quinoa Tabbouleh with Beets and Strawberries and it was to die for. We gobbled it up and went back for more. YUM! Who knew I liked quinoa?

We've made this recipe a few times, even on Christmas and it was a SMASH hit! It's so fresh and just plain delightful.

So! Here is the recipe for you: (I am not a photographer and I have found that it is REALLY hard to make food look yummy with an iPhone camera... haha.. sorry!)

Red Quinoa Tabbouleh with Beets and Strawberries and Pomegranates
adapted from True Food Kitchen by Andrew Weil via Natural Health Magazine

serves 4-6

1 pound beets (red or golden)
2 cups red quinoa or tri-color quinoa
1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil
1/3 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice
3 garlic cloves, chopped
1 teaspoon sea salt
Pinch of red pepper flake
1/3 cup fresh Italian parsley, chopped
1/4 cup fresh mint, chopped
3 scallions, chopped
2 ounces arugula, chopped roughly
10-12 strawberries, chopped or 1/2 cup pomegranate seeds
1/3 cup chopped almonds or walnuts

Roast and peel your beets, then chop into bite sized pieces. Meanwhile, bring four cups of salted water to a boil and add quinoa. Lower heat, cover and simmer for 20 minutes until quinoa is dry and fluffy. Let cool.

In a salad bowl, whisk together oil, lemon juice, garlic, salt and red pepper flakes. Add beets, quinoa, parsley, mint, scallions and arugula and
 toss well; chill until cool.

divide onto serving plates and top with strawberries or pomegranate seeds and almonds (I just tossed these in with the rest of the salad, but if you want real crunch from the nuts just top it like the recipe states). 

** I'd LOVE to hear what some of your favorite HEALTHY recipes are! DO TELL!

To another week of exercising :)


Sunday, April 6, 2014

Simple Things on a Sunday

I posted this on Facebook yesterday, and it's a quote I have heard before, but for some reason or another, I found myself going back and reading it over and over again.

What an incredible truth it holds.

Some of us bear visible scars, while others bear invisible scars, but that is not to be compared. The profound truth is that we are strong souls, and we bear massive character. This is what personal struggle, intense suffering, and deep loss will allow for-- for us to EMERGE and be more lionhearted and powerful than before.

I love, love, love this. I love what it means to me.


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