Thursday, August 30, 2012
A Broken Hip
Last night the Little Dude and I were joking around. He was in his Spidey costume and I was having him take pictures of my newest purchase- this dress:
(It's crucial to note that I rarely buy anything of a spendy amount but this dress literally jumped off the hanger and TOOK ME up to the counter at Anthropoligie... a place I haven't shopped in... um... EVER! Cute, right? I love it!)
Anyhow, because the kid is only 3 feet and then some, he was having a tough time getting my whole body in the frame. So, we grabbed the step stool out of the bathroom to boost him up a little. He loved it. He just kept snapping and snapping and snapping the pictures and thought he was the strongest of all super-hero's.
Once the game of taking mommy's picture was over, he decided he'd play a little game called "Run Across the Room and Launch Off of the Stool onto Mommy's Big Bed." Not the best game, but I thought... what the heck? I'll let him have some fun.
He did it over and over and over again. The more times he did it, the higher he got, and the more wild it became.
Pretty soon I said, "Okay son, enough... I don't want you get hurt buddy. Time to be done."
"Not buts, it's time to be done. What if you get hurt?"
"I won't get hurt! I won't! I won't! I won't! I'm fine! I don't care if I get hurt!"
"Little dude, it's really not safe. And you will care if you get hurt. Please listen to mommy. No more."
"Nothing will happen Mom. I am fine. I'm not hurt."
"Okay, well you still need to be done. Please grab the stool and put it back in the bathroom where it belongs."
His little body resistantly walk over to the stool. He stands on it. "Mom, please... I won't get hurt... one more time... pleeeeeeeeeease?"
Right as I begin to open my mouth, too much pressure is applied to one side of the cheap, light-weight stool and WABAAAAAAAAAAAAM! Little Dude is on his back screaming hysterically.
"I broke my hip! It's BROKEN Mom! Owwwwwwiiiiiieeeee."
I kneel over his startled little self and through the sobs, we have a little chat- he and I. Kind of like an "I told you so" chat but with less accusations in it.
"Remember just a few moments ago when I told you it was time to be done? That you could possibly get hurt? This is exactly what I meant, pal."
You could see him processing and replaying the whole thing. He managed to stop crying so that he could hear my words; then he cried some more. Once he gathered his composure, it was his turn to talk. He told me everything that was on his mind as best he could. As I listened to his rational during this little heart to heart, I realized something very profound...
I was learning to LISTEN and understand him better and he was listening to LEARN from me and what had just happened.
Had he not disobeyed, the perfect opportunity to teach him something so important wouldn't have been present. Sure, he would have been obedient and I would have praised him for that... but, this was an even better scenario. He learned firsthand and he was beginning to understand the consequences for his choice. I felt terrible that he fell, but I took full advantage of the teaching moment.
As Little Dude sleeps in his bed this morning and I replay last nights events, I can't help but think about all the times my parents tried to protect me. I vividly remember something my dad told me the night before I moved out and left for college in 2002. He said,
"Jacy, don't have sex with anyone. I know it's tempting... and I know you might think it's cool and that you're mature.. but don't do it. It'll last a few minutes max and then, when it's over, you'll think 'what in the hell just happened?' Don't do it. Wait until it's right."
After all this time, all these years, I have never forgotten those words or when and where he said them. In fact, I have kept them somewhere very close within me... because there were a few times when I was getting frisky with someone and I thought, don't do it... it's not worth it... this guy doesn't like me anymore than any other girl... it won't mean a thing. And then, I stopped it from progressing... with my dad's simple words in my mind.
I think there is so much wisdom in the people who love us most- especially our parents. I know there can be exceptions to the rule, but for the most part, I think it is SO wise to always listen and take heed in the counsel that your parents offer. I have valued my parents opinions all my life, but in these last few years, they've been my rock. I know that their sound advice and realistic approach to life has kept me in a much safer playing field than I might have been in otherwise and I'm so grateful that I can talk to them openly and honestly about the things in my life that are real for me.
As a parent to my 4 year old son, and knowing the heartache and worry I have felt for him in just a few short years, I now understand how my parents felt (and how my friends parents felt about them) in my adolescent years. I get it now. They wanted me (us) to live as good of lives as possible, with the most minimal amounts of avoidable hardships and unnecessary pains.
When I think of this on an even greater spectrum, I think about my Heavenly Father. He wants me to be happy, too. He wants me to live my life with as little owie's as possible. He wants me to succeed. He wants me to speak to him, to listen to him and then to learn from his counsel and all those around me who are there to help.
But it's not always easy. Even still.
Sometimes it's hard to listen to anyone else, whomever it may be. Sometimes we just have to make our own choices. Sometimes we want to rebel and stand on the plastic stool a few seconds longer, just like Little Dude did. Sometimes we have to learn the hard way. And sometimes we suffer the difficult consequences. But what a blessing it is to know that there is always room for improvement. No matter what happens, or how bad we screw up, or how far the fall, we can ALWAYS get back up with a better knowledge of how it happened, with a better plan to ensure it doesn't happen again, and with a more open heart to the sound counsel of those trying to protect us.
A small little bruise on the hip might cause some soreness for the next few days but, if you ask me, a tremendous amount was learned from such a simple fall.