This is a sentence that has inspired prayers full of gratitude and quiet moments realizing how miraculous my life is. Because behind that sentence there is a lot more than a surprised phone call my parents received out of the blue when I was five months old, it was years of church members fasting for my parents long after they gave up hope they could have children bond to them.
My parents had been through plenty of heartache being foster parents. My parents had taken children to psyche wards and had saved their house from the potential arson of a 17-year-old. They had brought orphans home for Christmas looking for a child who knew how to love them back. Their hearts were full, but their bodies left them incapable; after several years, their hearts felt really incapable too.
I believe some families are formed because certain spirits had an affinity for their loved ones. I see it in the lone dimple underneath my mouth that my Dad also shares with me and the petite height and curls I share with my Mom. I felt it with all of my heart when my grandfather when he asked me if I truly believed families could be forever and I knew they could be and I would love him for all of it.
My name is Autumn and I adopted.
This is also a sentence that has elicited uncomfortable conversations and grief.
I struggled growing up with two siblings that had a very difficult time transitioning to my adoption. It’s difficult to say that emotionally I am like an only child because my siblings never bonded to me and it was hard for me to learn that it was at no fault of my own. I have, however, often found this ironic because God intended me to be a twin. Sometimes that isolation came from being the “adopted” grandchild, niece, or cousin to imply I deserved different treatment. Sometimes it means having a man contact me asking for paternity testing and I sincerely having no idea if I really want to pursue it.
I’ve learned that regardless of “where I come from” that we all come from God. I’ve learned that things may be confusing with family matters sometimes, but I’ve been blessed with a lot of empathy for others. I’ve learned that no matter what choices people make, that Christ has already made the sacrifice and is just waiting for us to makes changes and accept it.
I’ve learned that family is a fluid word and regardless of how we are supposed to get somewhere, God makes it happen. My name is Autumn and I am where I am supposed to be.
**Remember the purpose of this series is to open our hearts, to interact, to uplift, to support and to grow.BecauseAutumn will be reading your comments, you may comment directly to her. She also has an really great blog called Stay Gold, Autumn thatyou can follow.
**Autumn... I feel so grateful that we have connected. You have such a heartfelt story and it sits oh so close to my heart because my sister was adopted, 2 of Seth's siblings were adopted, many of my friends have adopted, and a few of my personal friends have placed as well. Your words have reminded me of such a simple truth today: that family is family, no matter where you come from or how it is comprised. What a blessing you are in the lives of so many; what a blessing you are to me. Thank you for sharing something so personal. You are so beautiful. P.S. If you are new here and would like to read more of this series, you can find all of the inspiring stories under the "MY NAME IS" link on the right hand side of my blog (under topics).