Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Checking In & Checking Out- SNOOPING
Yesterday Seth surprised us by popping by the house to say "hi".
He said right as he came in,
"I can't stay long tonight... 20 minutes or so... and then I have an appointment at 5."
Knowing that a 10 minute conversation about wedding stuff can turn into an hour long discussion, I understood his preface. We chatted for a bit and then right at 4:35 he kissed me and said,
"Well... I better get out of here... I have a massage scheduled. I'll come over after, ok?"
I looked at him and teasingly said,
"Are you lying? Do you have somewhere else you're going that you're not telling me?"
He gave me the eyes... the 'are you serious?' eyes... we both laughed a little... and then he was off.
I sat down with the Little Dude for a bit. About an hour later, when I stood up I thought to myself,
Maybe I'll call the massage place and schedule me one, too. I am so very sore from all that weight lifting, after all.
So, I looked up a massage place- the one I'm pretty sure Seth goes to- and dialed the number.
"Hi! I have a question for you! I'd like a massage... do I have to be a member of Massage Envy to get one? Or can it be a one-time thing? I've never been in before..."
"We have a killer special going on... What kind of massage would you like?" she said.
"Um... I don't know... what do you have?"
And then right at the moment I thought
Well, Seth has praised his runaway polygamist therapist numerous times... maybe I'll ask if she has an opening tomorrow?
"Does a Seth so-and-so go there?" I asked.
"Pardon me?" the kind lady questioned.
"Is a Seth so-and-so there right now? He's my fiance and he raves about his masseuse there... I can't remember her name."
"Oh!" she laughed. "Congrats! Yes, Seth so-and-so is here... he sees Misty."
"Misty! That's right!"
And then, very quickly, my mind started to roam around a little bit and I said,
"Hey, um... don't tell Seth I called in... I don't want him to think I'm checking in on him or stalking him or something weird like that."
She chuckled and said,
"I swear I won't tell him."
Then I hear in the background coming from a male voice,
"Is that Jacy?"
It was silent for a moment.
The receptionist sheepishly said,
"Oh boy... we are busted! He was standing right behind me... he heard our whole conversation."
We both broke into laughter and then I felt dumb.
Crap! Now I look like a paranoid, non trusting, stalker fiance who appears to be checking up on her man. GREAT!
I called Seth right after I hung up the phone. He answered with a chuckle,
"You stalking me? You didn't think I was really there, did you?"
And then I told him the same story I just told all of you... and I felt really, really, stupid trying to explain myself because I looked SO GUILTY! And for a minute there, I even felt kind of guilty. Bizarre feeling to say the least.
Seth came back over to the house and upon entering the door, he handed me a gift card and said
"While overhearing the front receptionist say my name... and then the name of my masseuse... I figured it must have been you. Ironically enough, I was actually buying you this gift card from Misty so that you could get a massage tomorrow. I've been wanting to do it for a while now and of course, the one time I do it, you're on the other line. Funny!"
After getting over what a nice gesture this was, I started to think some more and I had these epiphany's:
1) I am SO grateful that I have never really felt the need to "CHECK IN" on Seth. He's never given me any reason to question his loyalty. I don't feel like I need to check his phone, his email, or snoop around his house... and I have yet to do so. You'd think that I would, right? And even though there is always this small nagging fear in the back of my mind that he (or anyone for that matter) could be lying to me, my nerves are calm and I am at peace with him.
I think this is what truly trusting yourself feels like... because it allows you to be vulnerable- with other's, with love and with yourself.
2) I am SO grateful that he "CHECKS OUT" every single time. I've never once caught him in a lie. He's never once been somewhere other than the place he told me he'd be (alright, except when he drove up to meet my parents, take them to dinner, and ask for my hand in marriage- that was forgivable :). He's never once made me feel suspicious or the creepy guy vibe.
I know I've said it a bunch of times before... but he is predictable and consistent. TWO WORDS that I am truly appreciative of.
3) I am SO grateful that I'm not a detective. I don't want to be a detective. I don't have time to be a detective. I don't ever want to feel like I need to be a detective again. And even though I never snooped on my ex-husband pre-discovery day, the aftermath led me to be one for a while and I absolutely hated it. Not a fun way to spend your time.
4) I am SO grateful that Seth knows me well enough to know that I was NOT snooping on him. I'm sure it crossed his mind momentarily... especially because I am a betrayed woman who asked "are you lying?" before he left. But after talking it over, we realized that it was just a silly coincidence and that we both knew each-other well enough to know that it was nothing more than a happenstance- and a funny one at that :)
What a refreshing feeling it is that when I do "CHECK IN" (even if it's accidental), everything "CHECKS OUT".
**This may be too personal... but, do you check in on your husband or significant other? Do you feel the need to check his phone or email? If so, does he let you do it? OR do you snoop?