Friday, September 28, 2012
Definition of LOVE
I've been thinking a lot about love lately. Not the love for my friends, or family, or my Little Dude... but love, love... the kind of love that is mutually shared with someone else..
I've been thinking a lot about what I envisioned love to be, what that love once meant to me, and what it is to me now- all three being totally different definitions.
Today I want to write about the last definition- the what love IS to me now one.
Love is simple. Love is exciting. Love is scary. Love is believing. Love is patient. Love is honesty. Love is friendship. Love is passion. Love is respect.
Love includes sacrifice. Love includes highs and lows. Love includes elasticity. Love includes texture. Love includes communication. Love includes challenges. Love includes selflessness. Love includes healing. Love includes misunderstandings. Love includes hurt feelings. Love includes laughter. Love includes intimacy. Love includes tender moments. Love includes disappointments. Love includes surprises. Love includes compromises. Love includes silliness. Love includes seriousness.
I could go on and on.
What I love about our love (mine and Seth's), is that it is all of these things... but one thing it is NOT is perfect.... and if I ever portray through my writings that it is perfect- that I am living some Cinderella happily ever after story, free of trial- then I'm not expressing myself accurately.
When he proposed he said to me,
"Jacy, I can't promise you that it will be some wonderful and perfect journey from this day forward... but what I can tell you is that you are my best friend, and there is no one else I'd rather spend my life with than you. And I think together, we can build something really amazing!"
It has taken me some time to realize that love isn't some perfectly edited script like I always thought it was. Heck, I learned early on that my life wasn't either. I'm finally understanding that it won't always be perfect. And actually, there have been many days (even in the last few weeks), full of intense, difficult conversations reviewing all of the challenging aspects of our love: blending a family with a 4 year old... getting remarried after being single and independent for so long... becoming an insta-dad for Seth... establishing a new home together... learning to trust again... bringing in new ideas of how we think it should be... tempering expectations... starting over...
It's not an easy-peasy transition, nor should it be.
So this awesome love of ours can be a little intimidating at times.... but it's also proving to be the best and most incredible thing I've ever experienced. Really.
I wasn't sure I'd ever find it- you know, true love... but the truth is... 'true love' is different for everyone. There is no one-size fits all. Each definition will vary... and each love story will have a different ending... but it's how you live your love, and how you make it work in your life and in your relationships, that really defines love.
I think for me, if I could narrow it down, I think I would say this:
It is when the lights are dimmed, and two heads lay upon separate pillows, that something truly magical begins. No, it's not sex. It's about something even more amazing than that. It's about working together, even amidst the many imperfections that line every relationship, it's about expressing hopes and dreams, it's about creating possibilities to reach those dreams (whatever they may be- family, business, home, etc.), and it's about giving it your all and building something magnificent together.
This is love.
At least that's the way I define it.
**What is love to you? Do you have a definition? Has it changed it years past?
**Where is the "My Name Is" feature today, you ask? Life got a hold of a few of my ladies and there wasn't one ready for today... my deepest apologies. It's good stuff, I know. If you'd like to participate or know someone who would, email me! I need more of you ;)