Alright, I'll admit it.
My name is Jacy, and I can be a bit of a cusser at times.
I didn't used to be... hardly ever. And then one day, back in February of 2010, that all changed. The words heck, freaking and darnit just didn't have the punch needed to thoroughly express my feelings. I needed UMPH! I needed to convince myself and those around me that it was that bad and I sort of found validation through cussing. Because of this, I've since found that those words have become less awkward to say and more fluid off of my tongue... because the more you say something, the easier it gets, right?
I know, I know.... I'm not fond of it either.
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Not too long ago I was at a friends house for dinner. The kids were rambunctiously running around when Little Dude smacked his hand against the wall. As he rubbed his fresh battle wound, he said in front of the other kids and their parents
"Oh, shit!"
I jumped out of my chair, knelt down to his level, grabbed his hands, looked him straight in the eye and said
"What did you just say?"
He said with nothing but confidence
"Shit."
"Why on earth would you say such a thing, Little Dude? Where did you hear that?"
"Because Mom, that's what you said when you hurt your toe. That's what you say when you get hurt!"
Very valid point, I thought.
My face fried with humiliation. And while I didn't say them aloud, two simple words immediately entered my mind- one started with "O" and the other with "S".
Great.
I'm not really sure what transpired after that and what I said in response to the allegations... all I knew is that I was busted.
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I've decided that I don't want cuss words to be apart of my vocabulary ever- especially when I'm around my son and/or those whom I interact with on a daily basis. For me, cussing makes me feel unladylike, uncreative, unattractive, oft times rude and almost lacking class in a way. And I've also found that, the more I swear, those words are totally pointless and useless in what I'm trying to convey. It means nothing whatsoever. Almost like wasted words in a sentence, only thrown in there to make me feel cool or something.
So, from this day on, I'm going to try even harder to erase lousy words from my index- no matter who I'm surrounded by. They just aren't necessary in my life and, quite frankly, I'm not sure they ever were.
But, I'm not exactly sure how keen I am on the replacement cuss words, either. It's like, if you're going to say shiz, son of a biiiiii, or effffff, why not just take the plunge and commit to the actual word? Isn't it basically the same thing, but with just a few consonants missing? We all know what it should be... so, doesn't that defeat the purpose a little bit?
Plus, don't those words just feel corny. Kinda, sorta corny?
I guess what I'm wondering is... WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Do you sometimes cuss? YAY or NAY?
If you say nay, do you use cuss word replacements? YAY or NAY?
And if you still say nay, what words come out of your mouth when you drop a 30lb clothes steamer (full of water, might I add) on your big toe?
I'm genuinely interested in how all of this works for you as moms and/or women in the workforce :)
**Happy Tuesday everyone! I am feeling MUCH better! Thank you for all of the well-wishing emails, texts and comments :)
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Oh... I have been in such troubles many a times when my little nephew used to be around. I'd say something messy unknowingly and he'd repeat it at the awkward moments finally pointing things at me :/
ReplyDeleteI think I have been a little conscious on what I say when I'm angry now.
HAHA! Don't you love this TaNuja? I am trying to be better, too :)
DeleteWELCOME HERE! Thanks so much for stopping by! Hope to see you commenting often :) I love new friends!
my 5 year old son said frickin' the other day and i just about lost it. he told me i said it. which of course i denied. but then i did say it two times that very day. i give up!
ReplyDeleteLOL! I love that I'm not the only one, Nessa! :)
DeleteSO glad you're here, too! YAY! Thanks for coming over and checking it out :) Eager to get to know you better!
ps. following you too now! :) lets be blog friends!
ReplyDeleteLOL! I truly can relate to this situation. There are times when I really can't stop myself but I usually stop myself midway and substitute the end half of the word.
ReplyDeleteI'm also in the process of DELETING those nasty words out of my system because for me, it doesn't look/hear good to hear those words from a woman's mouth, right?
That's exactly what I think Belle... they just shouldn't come from a woman's mouth... even though I tend to let many words slip out... haha... :)
DeleteWelcome here!!!! So happy to have you ;)
XOXO
i totally cuss, but i keep it "classy" and only around certain people, ha! having a son soon so maybe that will change :)
ReplyDeleteKrystal! Hi! WELCOME! I love a little classy cussing... haha!
DeleteCongrats on the bambino on the way :) That is always SO fun!! I'm off to check out your blog now... thank you SO much for stopping by! I love meeting new pals! I hope you stick around!
Jacy
I started swearing around the same time you did. Ha! I have gotten significantly better at not swearing (well, I'm trying) and I've also cut the "shiz" "darn" "frick". If I'm going to stop swearing I might as well take out replacement words and anyway, shiz just sounds stupid. If you're going to say it, just say it! I'll never let go of the word damn it. It was my stress reliever word when times were very tough. Good story! Love ya! Glad you're feeling better!
ReplyDeleteLOL.... I love you Ruby! Too funny :) Let's work on to together :)
DeleteSince teaching high school I have found that I swear more often - it started being an internal thing and then I just let it out sometimes. I wish I didn't but sometimes nothing else seems sufficent!
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts on cussing are similar to yours, it's usually just a poor way of communicating. {WARNING: SOAPBOX} Can I say that this is especially true about the mother of all cuss words, the F-BOMB. It's a noun, verb, adjective, it's whatever you want it to be when you're too lazy to come up with an actual word to fit.
ReplyDeleteSO I guess as far as corny replacements, I think the same rule applies. It's better to just find a real word.
Having said all that! ONCE IN AWHILE a cuss word is just what you need. Sometimes cuss words are funny as a punch-line in a joke. Or when they come out of totally unexpected places. (Old people or four year olds.) But, it's probably better to not use them out of a habit. And for those moments when I drop something on my toe- I try to use something ridiculous like what my Grandma would say
"Holy Moses!" or "Good golly!" And before you know it that's what "just comes out."
PS It's also really cute to hear your three year old say "GREAT HEAVENS!"
Nay: I don't cuss, but only because I have never let myself get into the habit. There are certain circles where it would be fine, but others where it is not okay (work, around kids) and I know I wouldn't have the willpower to change from place to place. I never really mind it when others cuss every once in a while.
ReplyDeleteOh man, you got busted! But I love how you're reflecting and turning it into a positive thing. I'll admit I cuss way too often, but only around family and friends. I've never cussed at work or with people who I don't know well. I guess I do it when I feel most comfortable, but I still know how to turn it off in certain situations. Ultimately, I just need to buck up and quit cussing all together.
ReplyDeleteYay and yay... but I wish it was nay! ;)
ReplyDeleteI don't cuss and never have. I have never liked it and I spent the first couple of years of marriage helping my hubby break the habit. I knew well before I had kids I did not want those words coming out of their mouths. Most replacement words even sound bad out of my 3 year old's mouth. I do use "dang it" far more than I should but for the most part I don't generally use replacement words that sound anything like the actual cuss words. I already get lectured by my 3 year old for saying stupid, I would feel terrible to be called out for real cussing.
ReplyDeleteI don't cuss and never have. I have never liked it and I spent the first couple of years of marriage helping my hubby break the habit. I knew well before I had kids I did not want those words coming out of their mouths. Most replacement words even sound bad out of my 3 year old's mouth. I do use "dang it" far more than I should but for the most part I don't generally use replacement words that sound anything like the actual cuss words. I already get lectured by my 3 year old for saying stupid, I would feel terrible to be called out for real cussing.
ReplyDeleteNay on the cussing. Never a fan of it. I definitely had my high school days trying to fit in, but I just think it's classless. To me, it just shows a mind that isn't apt enough to form a vocabulary of its own.
ReplyDeleteSo, I'm pretty obsessed with your blogs, so I linked some specific posts back to mine. Hope that's okay. I think I took 7 of your posts: http://empiricalday.blogspot.com/p/some-good-reads.html
Yay on the cussing sometimes...and Yay on the replacement words sometimes, too. Though I'm not proud of either one of them. I am a teacher, though, and not that I've ever hurt myself really badly at work...I have dropped things and smashed a finger occassionaly and somehow I manage to just go "OWWWWW!" or "Oops!" In my head I may still be using other words, but at work, they just don't come out. Which means I probably could reign it in at home.
ReplyDeleteI TRY not to cuss, occasionally they do come out, but luckily I don't have any kids and therefore a walking parrot to repeat horrible things I say ;) I do say "bless my soul" or if I'm feeling really frisky "bless my cotton-pickin' soul". What can I say, I'm country through and through :)
ReplyDeleteWell...I have been known in my day to cuss, and drop F bombs. It happens. My kids are older, and I hear them, and it's not so cool. I don't like to hear it, but sometimes I admit, It just feels good, even if I'm by myself.
ReplyDeleteI really really try not to cuss, especially since the little one is starting to repeat what she hears. But I really don't want her to hear that stuff anyway....I agree with you, it's ugly.
ReplyDeleteEver since my step-daughter watched Fantastic Mr. Fox, she started using the phrase "What the cuss?" or "Oh, cuss." All the kids her age (around 8 years old) are familiar with curse words at this point. But I think it's adorable that Ruth chooses the Fantastic Mr. Fox version instead. Every once in awhile, she'll revert back into using Spongebob exclamations like "Oh, barnacles!" It's funny that it comes so natural for her to say that phrase. :)
ReplyDeleteI try not to ever cuss in front of my kids because they do repeat everything. I want them to think that "hate" is a bad word for as long as possible and not hear those "other" words from me. The worst they hear from me is probably "darn/dang it" or "shoot".
ReplyDeleteWhen I'm not around them, however, I'm much more lax. I think it's funny when used appropriately, to be honest. My husband did convince me to try to stop cussing on my blog because my oldest can read now and may read it.
When I was a child, my grandpa used "h---" "da--" and "sh--" all the time. Most of the time it was funny (because my grandma hated it). It is interesting now that sometimes I hear one of those words and it is very offensive, and sometimes it's just nothing, depending on the context.
ReplyDeleteI swear occasionally. My kids swear occasionally. It's not something I'm proud of, and I am working to get it out of me, too.
Except that sometimes that one person is just an a--hole, there's just no other word for it. Just sayin'.
hahaha I loved this post of yours!
ReplyDeleteIt's so true that those *words* seem to slip right out of your mouth after a while. not good. Typically the word that comes out first starts with an S. :)
I've been trying so hard since we got married 5 months ago to ease up with the naughty words with lots of nieces and nephews running around!
Sometimes the replacement words are OKAAAYY, but you're right- they just don't feel the same. lame? yep.
Thanks for a funny post that got me thinking!
It is so much easier to see the error of our ways when we are seeing them become our children's ways. I'll never forget the first time my son said "Lame sauce" because we couldn't find what we were looking for at Costco. It made me realize they really do pick up what you say. I never swear around my kids. Occasionally when I'm having a rough day a few choice words are said in that time between closing their car door and opening mine. Lol. I don't really like the substitue words either for the reasons you and everyone have stated. However, I think they might be a good way to transition from the full on swear words to finding better ways to express yourself.
ReplyDeleteI think ultimately it comes back to controlling our emotions. "Use boldness, but not overbearance; and also see that ye bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love" As unattainable as it seems, I would like to strive to never feel that anger/frustration/etc. to the point of feeling the need for a swear word. Definitely far from it right now. One woman I know raised her boys cuss-free by telling them she didn't ever want to hear them say a word they hadn't heard their dad say. (How awesome would it be to have a man you have that much faith in?)
As for the dropping on the toe or hitting of the hand? Ow? Lol. I know, sometimes ow just doesn't seem to cover it.