Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Never Be Too Proud!
Yesterday afternoon I had a brief panic attack.
I'm not sure if it's anxiety.... or if it's just me being the worry wart, paranoid, overly emotional woman I am.... but a conglomerate of life's stuff starting pouring down on me and for a moment, it all just felt like it was too much.
In desperation, I texted my counselor's secretary asking if there was anyway I could Skype with him TODAY?
Miraculously, someone else in his day had just cancelled and I was on the docket.
Wonders of wonders... miracles of miracles...
As I sat in my living room, with my laptop open, staring at my therapist through the incredible technology we have, I had this aha! moment.
I've become a new woman during this process. I am changed.
When did I get to this point in my life where I am genuinely excited to sit down with a shrink?
I'm not sure when this happened. Probably somewhere in the beginning. But all I know is that my life is SO ENTIRELY DIFFERENT than it was 4 years ago.
I mean, I used to be embarrassed when people said they went to therapists. It's like "ummmmm, something must be really really wrong in their marriage!" or "they must have some serious, weird stuff going on! Who needs a freaking shrink?"
I used to think that therapists were only for weak people who couldn't help themselves. Or for the crazy people.
Boy! Was I ever wrong!
Who knew that 4 years later, I would be waving my hands in the air, jumping up and down, screaming "I DO! I DO! And I LOOOOOOOVE IT!" at the top of my lungs?
I was talking to a friend of mine over the weekend. She's been struggling in her life. Nothing too serious/concerning... just life... just kids... just regular marital stuff... She asked "do you have any suggestions, Jacy?"
Yes, yes I do.
The very first thing I said to her over the phone was "NEVER be too proud to seek out professional help!"
I mean this.
It doesn't mean your marriage is failing... it doesn't mean that you are failing... it doesn't mean that you are incapable to take care of yourself or your own problems. It means that you are wise enough to recognize when you need to seek outside help, and that you LOVE yourself enough to actually go. It means that you LOVE your spouse or your kids or whoever enough that you will humble yourself to get some outside help.
There is no shame in therapy. For whatever reason. There is no shame. No reason is not a "big enough" reason.
In fact, I imagine I will have (what I like to call) "maintenance therapy" for the rest of my life. I go in when I need it. I go in when I need to be revitalized.... because I like what I discover about me in therapy. I like what I discover about about others in therapy. And I like what I discover about life in therapy. Bottom line, I like how I feel after therapy, and I like the fact that I feel more capable and awesome and more empowered than I did before the session. I like that I feel like I can conquer the world. I like that I feel like I can be my true self, sharing the parts that are embarrassing or awkward. I like that I can just blurt it all out.
But what I love most is that it is easier for me to be corrected when my thinking is erred. I'm not right all the time. I do make mistakes. I am flawed. And I can listen when those things are being very delicately pointed out to me. I love that I can take away what I have learned and honestly try to apply it to my life moving forward.
So.... if I can offer any advice to anyone struggling (aren't we all?!)... even if it might just be with normal life stuff... I would recommend you doing TWO things for yourself:
1) Find a shrink!
2) Get a massage!
It might make for an expensive afternoon, but it is worth EVERY single dime! :)
*** Are you open to seeing a therapist? How do you feel about it? Do you go? Would you go? I'm really interested to hear all of your perspectives on this, no matter what your trials are. Do you seek professional help? Why or why not?